I’d like to make this a regular thing discussing other funny things that have happened throughout Atlanta, but right now I’m just stuck on the hoodness of the local hip hop station. I’ll just enter this how I heard it. The context of this conversation was someone had called in to the radio station and won a contest. I’ll start the conversation right where I tuned in to the radio station so it will have the same effect on you that it had on me. At first, I felt kinda sad for the person, but then I realized that she was just ridiculous. Here it is almost verbatim to how I heard it:
Caller: “Oh my goo’ness! I won! I can’t believe I won!”
DJ: “Yeah, girl! You won! How are you feeling?”
Caller: “I can’t believe I won. I’ve had such a hard week. We’ve been really struggling with money lately. My kids and I were just evicted from our apartment on Monday. We had to move back in with my grandma. Winning something like this just turned my whole week around!”
DJ: “I’m sorry to hear about the eviction, but I’m glad you were caller number 9!”
Caller: “Oh yeah! I can’t believe it!”
DJ: “Alright girl, since you were caller 9, you won that dinner for 2 at The Cheesecake Factory! What’s the radio station that hooks you up?!”
Caller: “Streets 94.5!! Wooooooo!!!!”
Yes, that was real life. Winning a dinner for 2 at The Cheesecake Factory was a life-changing moment for an actual human being. I wanted to use this post to write about some other contest they’re running on that station where if 2Chainz interrupts a song and tells you to call in, the first person to call in wins $94. It’s a decent contest, but the way they advertise it is by saying, “Win $94 so you can ball outta control!!” If you can ball out of control with $94, I’m assuming you’re the same kind of person that would go wild over winning a dinner for 2 at the Cheesecake Factory after being evicted from your home. Thank you for staying so hood, Atlanta!
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The reason I wanted to write this blog entry is because I wanted to talk about how awesome Atlanta is. And what I wanted to focus on was how unapologetically hood Atlanta can be. With this particular focus, I wanted to talk about the local hip hop radio station here in Atlanta. I’ll start with the advertisements from this radio station.
First one is for a company called Tax City. What Tax City offers is getting you a tax refund, even if you didn’t work. I have no idea how that works, but Tax City can get you that scrilla. The best part about the Tax City ad is it’s jingle. Yes, say Tax City in your head, and what hip-hop song pops into your head? That’s what goes down in that jingle. Tax City, bitch. Tax tax city, bitch.These are accountants that have their CPA.’s, which is very difficult to get, and after somehow completing their CPA tests, they have to tell their families that they work for Tax City, bitch. Perfect! Next is an ad for a company called 411 Pain, which is a law firm that seems to specialize in suing people because they got into a car accident. Not because of catastrophic injuries and stuff like that, but because you may have got a dent in your car. Basically, they are catering towards the people that are trying to get their come up because they got into a fender bender. Once again, the highlight of these ads are their jingles. The latest one is fantastic. Imagine Khia’s ‘My Neck, my back’, who’s original lyrics were of course “My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack!” Possibly the most romantic song of all time. I think it was on The Notebook soundtrack. Ok, now imagine somehow transforming that song into a song about a law firm that specializes in frivolous lawsuits from minor car accidents. “My neck, my back, my windshield just got cracked!” That happened! There was an ad agency that came up with that commercial for a law firm. How much education went in to having an entire firm of lawyers, and they are being represented by “My neck, my back, my windshield just got cracked!”. Once again, perfect.
The reason I love Atlanta is not because it is easy to make fun of, but because it’s never afraid to be itself. You can ridicule it all you want, but it’s never going to change. We should all thrive to be more like the city of Atlanta. There’s more hilarious stuff I could write about just from the local hip hop station, but I’ll save that for another blog post.